Is an engagement ring an absolute necessity to a marriage proposal?

I once had this chat with a male friend on marriage proposals and his statement to me was shocking because I never thought of it in that light, at least not for Nigerians born in Nigeria and living in Nigeria who have not travelled outside the shores of the country and have attached too much importance on traditional values. His statement was simple as he said ‘any man who does not propose to a lady with a ring in this day and age is not serious about marrying that lady’. Now, I took it within the Nigerian context, because as we all know, the idea of engagement ring sounds western.

However, the origin and history of engagement ring poked my curiosity and for days I couldn’t stop thinking about the nagging question that tucked my every being. ‘’Is an engagement ring a necessary tool for marriage proposals for Nigerians living in Nigeria in the 21st century’’  I know most people might have differing answers with basic reasons. But first, it is wise to take a peek at the origin and history of engagement rings.  Although an engagement ring has been generally described as a ring connoting that the wearer is engaged to be married particularly in western cultures, it must be emphasized here that the history of engagement ring began in Ancient Egypt and was used to symbolize a never-ending circle. It gradually moved to the West as the Romans saw it as a symbol for ownership instead of love. Subsequently in Europe engagement rings were given as a pledge of love and fidelity and especially for the Romans it was used as a gift for betrothal and did not necessarily imply marriage.

Presently, in the 21st century in Nigeria a lot of factors come to play when a man intends to propose marriage to a woman and I believe that these factors to a large extent affects the nature of proposal a woman would get. Factors ranging from the ethnic group of the woman in question; the character of the woman; the family background of the woman; the finances of the man; his status in the society; his religion, his responsibility within his immediate and his extended family to mention a few.  For instance, when a  man is not financially stable and just wants to marry because he thinks all his mates are married or because he has a set target on when to marry he may not necessarily be patient enough to propose with a ring. Guys, am I right?

I know most ladies grew up with the notion of romance which was reinforced by Mills and Booms novels and American romantic movies as well. Realizing that the prince charming of the movies/novels do not necessarily exist in real life they try to create one out of the man they are with at that point in time. Sometimes, they perceive the proposal of marriage with an engagement ring as ‘classy’ and they go about making a fuss about it and recounting his proposal. However, not all ladies have the opportunity to feel or recount such fairy tale like stories and this could be as a result of numerous reasons such as religion, lack of initiative on behalf of the man because he was never exposed to romantic movies or he simply does not believe in it.  In such circumstances, the women in question should not feel bad because the essence of engagement ring is not more important than the relationship you share with that man you call your own. Engagement rings can be like a breath of fresh air in terms of marriage proposals which comes in different forms in Nigeria and which most unscrupulous men use in deceiving poor unsuspecting ladies out there, but it is not a must have because the man can always give it to the lady after the marriage proposal and in certain circumstances both can shop for it. I believe the most important thing in a marriage proposal is the intention and the ability to keep that fire of love burning for a life time. However, guys always try to buy an engagement ring while proposing; it does put a smile on her face, gives her that feeling of being special and makes her radiate with joy. Do you think an engagement ring is a necessity for a marriage proposal?


4 thoughts on “Is an engagement ring an absolute necessity to a marriage proposal?”

  1. Hello Everyone, the importance attached to engagement differs from person to person and no big deals about it if a guy decides to put a ring on a girl he loves and adores fine. That is his belief and he is entitled to his opinion, and another guy thinks its his heart that matters and see no reason why he should give a ring to the lady he has propose to its equally cool. Because no matter what we say or do or discuss in life we should understand that individual difference matters a lot… As to whether it is crucial or neccesary it depends on the personality of whom is proposing. Does he see a ring as significant as ‘let me give her she will be bound to wait for me’ or We love ourselves whether I give her a ring or not we are meant to be together and she knows I do not believe in giving ring’ ‘whichever suits a man in a relationship he does and everyone who has eyes on the relationship and is expecting to see a ring on my lady’s finger after I propose to her,and didn’t see should go to hell for all I care my lady know me and I know my lady'(another guys thinking as I post this comment)… Me for one I see an engagement ring as a’ fashion ring added’ to my finger because I love and adore fashionable rings no matter what sizes or colour I love it…See Ya!

  2. Yes we can dispense with an engagement ring considering our economy and the fact that not all guys are exposed to the western culture. ‎​I agree with you that all that matters is the guy’s genuine intentions, although there is nothing wrong with having a fancy engagement ring if it can be afforded.

  3. Yes we can dispense with an engagement ring considering our economy and the fact that not all guys are exposed to the western culture. ‎​I agree with you that all that matters is the guy’s genuine intentions, although there is nothing wrong with having a fancy engagement ring if it can be afforded. Cheers.

  4. True talk Eyii, it is a matter of what the individual thinks. Lets be truthful here that is why some guys can give more than one lady Engagement ring. The ladies are always carried away with what they see. So ladies that guy that has not given you that RING might be the right guy for you.

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