Relationships are so difficult: Pains and gains


Honesty is another important factor in assessing your relationship, have you ever wondered why a spouse prefers to be dishonest rather than honest. And most times when the truth comes out the defence of the spouse is: “I was protecting you” or I did not want to hurt you” or “if you knew the truth you would hate me” or “I did not want you to think I was capable of doing such” For it is not all truths that hurt the other party, some truths are better said than hidden in a canopy of lies.  In my opinion, most times hidden truths when revealed could completely destroy the emotions of the other party as well as the relationship that has been built over a period of years. Don’t get me wrong, my opinion is not intended to encourage the cultivation of a habit of lies among spouses but to make sure all spouses are aware of the reality behind the lies communicated to their spouses over a period of time. Because when the truth finally comes out of its hiding place, the effect on the relationship is most times explosive.  There are difficult moments when a spouse may tell the truth and lost his/her partner for life, in such circumstances the action of the lying spouse might be a forbidden act, in which case the spouse has no choice but to tell lies or embrace the dire consequences of his/her action by telling the truth. Let’s us all imagine for a moment that a wife who has been married to her husband for a period of 10 years  had an affair with her husband’s best friend, do you honestly think that divulging such information to the husband in the name of honesty would make her husband love her more? Absolutely not!!!! With righteous indignation, I believe that husband of hers will throw her out of their matrimonial home no matter the circumstances that led to the affair. (This scenario is strictly limited to the Nigerian environment). And what becomes of the Husband’s best friend? They would become best enemies (if there’s ever a word like that). Yet, some husbands have walked the path of the pain of betrayal but went ahead to forgive their straying wives just because they have made a deal with love, one which they so strongly believe should last for a lifetime. Those husbands can sit and tell you the difficulty one must encounter in relationships for there is no gain without pain.

To be continued…

One thought on “Relationships are so difficult: Pains and gains”

  1. I find that it is better 4 a person (spouse/partner) to kip quiet about things they’ve done which could damage their relationship than it is for them to lie; if they are not so confident of the reaction to the truth.
    That is to say: do not lie ever, but do not always make confessions if they aren’t sought.

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