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Traditional marriage vs. Church marriage: The best option (Part 1)

I have a secret, I don’t like attending weddings, I don’t know why, I prefer seeing a movie or going to the beach to attending weddings. But there comes a time in every girl’s life where she has to attend weddings and the likes, I guess that time came in my life in the month of June. This is due to the fact that I had the opportunity to attend four weddings in a roll and in one month. So, it is official that I attended four weddings in four weeks, thus the month of June must be truly special.
People that dislike attending weddings like myself believe weddings are tiring, hectic and stressful. I totally agree but my attendance at the four weddings/traditional marriages gave me the time to ponder over weddings in Nigeria. In Nigeria, like in every other African country we have our culture and tradition and this can be easily seen in our way of life. Marriage is not left out when it comes to tradition, infact there are countless ways of getting married to a Nigerian girl depending on her ethnic group, but beyond this is the culture we inherited from our colonial masters called church wedding and/or marriage under the Act.
This form of marriage never existed during the era of our ancestors who were free men and lived their lives in accordance with their traditions. Presently, in the 21st century it becomes pertinent to ask: which type of marriage is the preferred mode of getting married in this generation? I know as a fact that some people prefer to get married in accordance with the culture of their people, in accordance with the English law and in the presence of God as well.

While every young couple desires to get married in the traditional way as well as get married in accordance with their religion, not everybody can afford it. As we all know getting married to a woman in Nigeria entails expenses and the expenses incurred by the man becomes even more if she is from the eastern states. Certain eastern states are famous for exuberant bride prices; sometimes the bride price involves buying food items and drinks for all the members of the girl’s village. Imagine being faced with this enormous task as a guy to buy food stuffs and drinks for virtually all groups ranging from the umunna*, umunne*, umuada* and the youths of the village as well as the parents of your bride. It gives the impression that you are getting married to the village. Anyways, that’s the beauty of Nigeria which is rich in culture and tradition. Now, after paying the bride price and performing the traditional ceremony, in the eyes of the girl’s family, you have married their daughter and she is free to live with you. The girl’s family cherishes the traditional marriage because it signifies that the girl has been rightly given out by her family to the man’s family. The girl on her part depending on her religion cherishes the church wedding where she is at liberty to show off her wedding dress and shoes and all other accessories.

Why relationships with our partners fall apart (Part 1)

Sometimes we could meet that special person in a very romantic place, just like in the cinema, in the beach or sometimes we can meet that person in the heat of the day, when we are all stressed and tired of life’s struggles. It could be in a bus, molue, or when we are even struggling to get attended to in a local food restaurant. Ha! That one bad sha! Imagine eating that hot amala and ewedu and he comes to sit beside you with his rice and moi moi feeling superior or feeling western while you feel terrible. Yeah! We can meet that special person in all works of life, anywhere and everywhere. And when we finally strike that connection, what do we do to keep it? Basically, this section will focus on the ladies while the second part of the section will focus on guys.
Ladies, he struggled to get your attention, he was calling you day and night so that you could give him a chance, he chased after you under the rain and even under the scorching sun. So, now that he is dating you, why has he suddenly lost interest? To answer this, lots of factors are involved. First, it could be that he is not the one for you, but what if he is the one for you? But he is turned off by your overbearing attitude? Or now that he knows you better he realizes that you are not as good as you looked from a distance? Don’t get me wrong! The looking good factor has to do with your conduct, your appearance, are you a dirty girl? Who does not know when to have a bath or wash your body? Do you use an under wear for days without washing it? do you have body odour and fail to realize that you do? Or simply ignore to control it? Do you have irritating habits that he has complained of time and again to no avail? It is endless….

Guys, am I right?
Does the above turn you off?
Ladies for the sake of keeping your relationships make an effort at being neat, develop the habit of paying special attention to your under wears. Endeavor to use strong deodorants and wear strong perfumes if you do have body odour. We know its not your fault but you can make it bearable.
How about your mouth? Ensure you pay special attention to your teeth. You could say that once a man loves you he does not care about your appearance and looks, but that’s not true. BEWARE: ‘Men are attracted by what they see and women are attracted by what they hear’
As a woman looking good is not just good business, its also serious business. Don’t be known as that woman who he would describe to people as I love her but…..

Make sure you eradicate factors that can make your man change his mind about popping that question. Strive to be a better woman and do not hesitate to take corrections.