Tag Archives: love


I came across a very touching picture… It said “A real man must choose to honour, respect…”

You can read the rest above. Are they real men out there? Its left for the women to assess their men and come up with the results. So whoever thought that in the institution of marriage there was no exams and assessments must be joking. For they are even carry over courses in love, honour, respect, adoration and faithfulness. There are even drop-outs in the Institution of Marriage. You can flunk the marriage.

All men can be real men because it is a choice. Some men would argue that they were not brought up that way, so they cannot adore a woman. They should know this then, a woman brought you to this world and a woman makes your life easier. It’s either you shape in or ship out. For there is no kingdom without a King and his Queen. No family without a wife and a mother.

So, guys what are you waiting for? Man up.


And there we were at the Church…

Today’s message is all about love. When I was hungry you gave me to eat. When I was thirsty you gave me to drink. I just recently read a message from his Holiness Pop Francis. And I couldn’t help but have mixed feelings. However upon ripping myself of my religious emotions, I saw great meaning in his words. He said ” The notion of God is outdated” Yea!sounded weird right?

Keep on reading… and you get uneasy…

Although I am yet to ascertain the veracity of the statement… but what remains apt is the last sentence where he said ” so many  people have done lots of evil in the name of the church”.

And there we were in church on Sunday.  Most of us are shells, because our minds wander away …. to a different place. However, the satisfaction that we were in church on Sunday is what keeps us going. We step out with a satisfied smile but our souls are hungry , thirsty looking for the word of God.

Then there is that group of people who sees going to church as obligatory and not necessarily the essence of fellow shipping with others. There are the other group of people who are in church to keep up appearances that they are Christians.

Christianity is in the heart and in the soul, it is  in our acts of love and kindness and not in church going. For there we were on Sunday in the church yet we are not in sync with God’s words.

Let us mediate on it.




The Mystery behind relationships

Hi guys, it has been ages since I wrote and I feel very guilty about it, the words kept coming, the right topics kept  passing by but I could not squeeze out time to put my thoughts in paper. Although the idea kept on taunting me but as we all know no one has time except we create it. I was once told that no one knows what goes on between a man and a woman who are behind closed doors. I verily believe that  different relationships have different strategies which makes it grow into a success story.

Love is  the key that open perfect doors in our relationship, for love is like a plant that must be cared for, it must be protected and it must be fed, it must be provided with sunlight and water to blossom and grow into an ageless beauty. In all of my years on the face of this earth and in all my interactions with old couples one thing remain constant in finding the secret to a long and lasting relationship and that is determination. Most times, we wonder what a tall and handsome saw in a woman whom we perceive to be ugly. We wonder if a young and beautiful woman married an old rich man for his money and not for the mere fact that she finds happiness with him or that he makes her laugh. Now we keep on wondering and the relationship keeps on growing and that is the mystery behind relationships. It is a function of both parties and not a function of what third parties think. You know some people will never marry a person who has not been scrutinized and approved by friends as if it is their friends that will become their bed mates and companion.

Nevertheless, we are the only ones who know why we choose that fat and short lady or that old man  for no one truly knows why we choose the partners we ended up with, no one knows if it was just out of frustration and the fact that one has given up on true love or prince charming or the angelic beauty men imagined to spend the rest of their lives with. That woman who has the perfect shape, who is soft spoken, who does no wrong, who is a chef in the kitchen and who has mastery of the sexual skills which can make a man smile for days unend. A woman who never demands for gifts or material stuffs, a woman who never demands for your time but always lovingly and willingly accepts you when you come to her. Well, now that’s some fairy tale which I truly don’t know if it exists in the real world as challenges will always bring out the worse and the best in us, it will push us in relationships to do unspeakable things and to do the best things in life.   Same goes for women, are we getting into a relationship with anyone just because we can’t seem to find the right man or we have lost hope on our childhood dreams of meeting that special man who may not be necessarily good looking but who treats us right, who goes an extra mile to serve us as his princess or who cherishes us and practically worships the ground we walk on.

In all these cases, one should never give up on his or her dream of finding the “one” or getting that person that suits our taste, completes our dream and most importantly gives us joy in all areas of our life for that is truly the mystery behind good relationships for it matters not what the world thinks as longs as that is the woman or man for you, go ahead and be a couple.


Special gift : The valentine festival


There’s  the new thought and word in town that many men such as Romeo, Jack and even Jesus died for love, but no woman has ever died for love. Infact, they said that if women can’t give at least 10 names of women who died for love, then they wont be entitled to a valentine gift. Hilarious I must confess, does it mean that most Nigerian single  guys are trying very hard to avoid giving their lovers a valentine gift. Some guys have confided in me that the major reason why single guys are crying “murder” lies in the fact that  they have more than one lover. So, imagine duplicating the expensive gifts for about two or three women. Wow! Terribly and bloody expensive to maintain two women during valentine’s day. My humble opinion is you should stick to one woman. I know the guys out there are saying “what about  women who have more than one man” It is also insanely costly for women to maintain two men, imagine those women  sharing their body with two men on the same day such as  having intercourse in the evening with both men, the complication of lying and the risk of being caught by the other. And as for the married ones amongst us, am not sure buying a gift should make you agitated as long as you are married to one wife and I mean one wife in every sense of the word. Not one wife and a concubine and  not one wife and three concubines. *wink*

Anyways, as we are approaching February 14th , I believe it is time to look at the possible gifts to get for our spouse. In my opinion, appreciation of your spouse is key on February 14th. the value of the gift does not matter as much as the thought that was poured into  buying the gift, the manner of presenting the gift also matters a lot. As for the men, know it today that women love surprises and they love romance. Wrap the gift up in style and romance, send the package to her office or classroom if she is in the University. Surprises and romance  spices the celebration of love on that day set aside to celebrate love. It’s a day to exchange gifts and do things that would make the other spouse to smile.  It is not a day to demand for your rights as a spouse but a day to accommodate the excesses of each other.  Below are some suggestions on gifts to buy:


This gift is just one out many that can be selected by you for your spouse depending on his or her preference. Some people do not drink tea or coffee, hence this gift is completely off the picture  for them in that case you can buy him  a wristwatch, an mp3 player, an iPad, a digital bible key chain,  customized boxers,designer perfume,  a shoe, laptop skin, a pair of designer shirt, necktie  and trousers as well as belt all in one set if you do have the money to spend and the list goes on and on. As for what to buy for the ladies..mmmm..well…well… we all know a pair of gold earrings, bracelet, necklace, wristwatch, designer perfume,  a personalized mug will also be appreciated if she drinks tea. I won’t exhaust the list today. By tomorrow I shall categorize the gifts to buy and the category will depend on the amount of money you can afford to spend on buying a gift. So watch out  for a longer list tomorrow.

Cheers Amigos!

To be continued…

Special text messages :The valentine festival


Have you ever wondered why  people have different  views on  the celebration of valentine’s day? Well, it’s all based on a number of factors but most of the notable ones are:  valentine is a pagan festival;  valentine is a roman tradition; valentine is meant for spouses; and mostly recently valentine’s day is a Christian festival  and the list goes on.  Nevertheless,  valentine has become one of the most popular celebrations in the world and we are falling short of turning that day into a worldwide public holiday. *wink* *wink*.   My reason for this outrageous suggestion or should i say observation  is not far-fetched and lies in the fact that cards are largely produced to celebrate valentine’s day and even events are specially organized for this great day of love. What is your thought on making February 14th a public holiday worldwide?

I guess every country who is engaged in one war or the other should seize fire on that day and share love*( I think that is a funny suggestion) but it could work. While we are pondering on the question of declaring the 14th of February every year a public holiday here are some lovely  text messages that we can send to our loved ones on February 14th.

Your are  unique
U are caring and
U are  the Best.And I am the  luckiest to have U in my life!
Happy Valentine’s Day my sweet heart!


Even without Valentine’s Day, you’re my valentine. I don’t need a special day to celebrate your love in my life. But since today the world is celebrating anyway, I’m here to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day.


Here is my heart, it is yours so take it,
Treat it gently, please do not break it.
Its full of love thats good and true,
So please keep it always close to u.

Love is missing someone whenever you’re apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you’re close in heart. As we are, Happy Valentines Day sweetheart.


All I want to do on Valentine’s Day is wrap my arms around you and stick to you like a koala! Let’s have a great Valentine’s Day this year.


As for me : I would simply say:

I appreciate you on this special day of love.

You are mine forever. Happy Val’s day.


Love is that true feeling of spending all my  lifetime with you

and knowing that I truly lived. For when we are together I blossom with life and energy.



Our love story began on Val’s day because from the moment I met you I

started my celebration of love every day. Happy Val’s day my sweets.


Cheers Fellas!





Lets share the love: The valentine festival


The longest month of the year is finally coming to an end and we shall soon be ushered into the month of official love. I guess everybody should be in the mood to share some love in February. Now, a lot of jokes have been circulated in anticipation of the gifts ladies are expecting from their man and vice versa. I guess it is a funny way to start  the season of love, however it shows that we have injected a large measure of humour into the valentine’s day celebration that no one should actually feel hurt if their spouse does not meet their expectation. They might as well make a joke out of  the situation. For even the most carefully planned out day might have a hitch or two due to the circumstances beyond our control. I am also aware that not everyone celebrates valentine for reasons best known to them, while some people may simply be disillusioned by the mere mention of valentine’s day due to the absence of a spouse to share the day with.

Here are some jokes to crack your ribs  as I will take you through the next 15 days on what to expect or how to express your love to your spouse on the 14th of February 2013.

Letter to single men from single ladies :

Dear very loving male folks,

We the female folks wish to bring to your notice that in less than 3weeks, there shall be the celebration of love (feb.14).. We’d appreciate it if alongside that box of chocolate is a box of ring- be it diamond, gold, silver or bronze!

We know how much you want us to take a trip to Bahamas, Sun-city, Miami and Paris and we appreciate the kind gesture. BUT instead of the holiday trip, we would appreciate it if you took a trip to our family house instead!

We’ve given you enough hints such as invitation to weddings, church vigils, child dedication and all sorts.

Unfortunately, you are all dumb to realize that- of course we understand that some of you broke up with us during d xmas period but apologies will only be accepted in the form of a marriage proposal with its consummation in no distant time!

Valentine’s day is just 2wks away so you have enough time to call your friends for a drink and tell your fathers, mothers and siblings about us.

Thank you for your kind cooperation.


President, Single Ladies Association.

Response from single men:

Dear single ladies,

We received your letter dated 3 weeks before valentine. Thanks for reminding us what we should do. On behalf of my fellow single men, Iwent to my bank to check our account balance so that we can be able to buy you diamond rings but to our surprise, it was empty.
Reasons : we believe you remember asking for that sexy blackberry 10, well the money came out of that account. You remember that birthday you had at the beach last week, the money came out of that account. Do you remember rejecting the shoes and bag we bought you for Xmas, instead insisted that it must be Prada or Gucci which we eventually bought, the money also came out of that account.
Unfortunately the people who sells diamond rings insisted that we must pay before delivery. Therefore give us more time to save more money so that we can be able to buy the expensive rings for your tiny multi-purpose fingers.
Please note that it took us about 1 year to save up the money you used in one week.
We will exchange letters again by this time next year to see if you changed at all since 1- blackberry 11 is on its way. 2-another Xmas and birthday are coming before next val. Thanks.

President, single guys Association of Nigeria.

I am still stifling a laughter even though I have read the joke for the umpteenth time.

Cheers guys!

More antidotes to having a long lasting relationship with your spouse

Another secret to preserving a relationship between spouses is perseverance, most couples are not determined to keep the vow of ‘till death do us part’ Most couples would rather say till lack of funds part us or till the issue of barrenness’ do us part. Perseverance is a key to having a long-lasting relationship with your spouse, once a spouse can develop the spirit of determination, in addition to love the marriage would last for a life time. Trust is another component that helps in preserving relationships, when there is a distrust lurking around in a marriage it comes with suspicion, back biting, jealous rage and a lot of other factors which would eventually lead to the end of such union.  Further, another factor that can help build a long-lasting relationship which previously existed is the ability to be open to corrections in a relationship, as well as the ability of the spouse correcting to do so with love and understanding and not with malice and insults. Spouses that are open to corrections always have the best relationships because they are always seeking ways to improve their skills in all spheres of the relationship, be it in matters of sex or matters of food or matters of finances.  As we all know it relationships with our spouse is hard work and the only way we can keep our relationship is by maintaining it and sustaining it by what we do or say.  Spouses must cultivate the habit of listening to each other, taking corrections, understanding when the going gets tough rather than bailing out. Spouses must enter into a marriage union with the mentality that it is for better or worse and not with a prenuptial agreement in the event of separation. The anticipation of separation is proof that you are marrying the wrong person. The mindset that there is a door out of the marriage if things don’t work out shows that you never intended to have a long and lasting relationship in the first place. It is profound that relationships are not all rosy and there are times when it would be surrounded by thorns but it is our ability to look past the thorns that preserves our relationship.  In sum every long-lasting relationship between spouses is characterized by love and perseverance amongst other. So, next time you say to your spouse ‘I love you’ make sure you mean it.


Antidote to having a long lasting relationship with your spouse


Long ago we heard about couples celebrating thirty years union, golden jubilee, silver jubilee and the likes. It seems to be very many years ago as the rate of marriage is high and the rate of divorce is even higher. I have even heard the story of a couple that got married and separated on that same day of the marriage. The issue of separation or divorce has become the general rule rather than the exception; it is messy and bloody as couples wash their dirty linens in the eyes of the public. Ha! Celebrities always have the worse type of divorce especially when the press has a keen interest on the celebrity.

Now, I have constantly asked myself what is the cause of divorce in this present generation and a lot of answers flooded in from my observations of how people develop and run their relationships. The catchiest answer I could find to the problem of high divorce rates lies in what couples are not doing to preserve their marriage. The biblical command on marriages is ‘’wives be submissive to your husband and husband love your wives as Christ loved the church.’’ Hence, I would start from love, love is that feeling that makes you think of a particular person all the time, it brings out the passion in you, it makes you make sacrifice for your spouse, it is patient and kind and understanding and forgiving. It brings you closer to your spouse and brings depth to your relationship with your spouse.  In sum, love as stated by Robert Sternberg is blended into three components which are passion or physical attraction, intimacy or feelings of closeness and commitment which means the decision to initiate and sustain a relationship. Why would couples go through the bother of exchanging marriage vows if they have no intention to keep it, ‘I love you’ means I love you enough to forgive you even when you upset me; I love you enough to be committed to you even when things are not going on well between us, because I know our love for each other would give us the strength to overcome it; I love you enough to be kind to you rather than turning you into my punching bag; I love you enough to understand that I cannot always have my way in the relationship; I love you enough to look out for own interest by including you in all my plans.

In my opinion, if ‘love’ exists in a relationship between spouses, the tendency to divorce the one you love would be nonexistent. However, most couples do not know the meaning of love even though they say it often to each other, hence the rate of high divorce.


Why relationships with our partners fall apart (Part 2)

Now men why did she suddenly lose interest in you? Why the sudden irritation? Maybe your ‘swag’ is not perfect or you are not just what you made yourself out to be, you are all form and no substance. You borrowed your friend’s car to ask her for a date and you conveniently forgot to mention it to her. You took her to your cousin’s house at Lekki in Lagos and she thought it was yours and you never bothered to correct that impression. Or you are not a neat person, your mouth stinks, your armpits can kill all the fish in the river, you don’t bother about shaving your beards and your English is mixed with ‘s’ in every statement or you simply don’t have a sense of responsibility or you cannot take the initiative even when she looks up to you or you have an over bearing attitude, always trying to lord it over her because you have an inferiority complex problem or you just have low self-esteem. You are afraid of change and would rather stay in one place. You are intimidated by her, so you deliberately stay quiet and pretend it’s alright. No! it is not, women love men that can lead, every woman looks up to her man and no woman (except a dirty one) likes a dirty man.
No woman likes a lazy man who cannot act like a man in every sense of the word. No woman would support a man who she does not believe in.
There it is guys! When she suddenly pulls off, it means you don’t have that swag to keep her or you do have the swag but you just don’t care about how you treat her or you are insensitive to her feelings or you are wealthy enough to hold her attention but have no idea on how to manage your time. Women love attention as much as they love your generosity. A lady who genuinely loves a man is constantly seeking to spend more time with the man. A man without a vision is of no good to a woman and she will eventually dump you when a better man comes her way. Thus, as a man when a woman looses interest it means you are lacking in certain areas. It means you lied about your material wealth and she is very pissed. She rather dates the cousin that owns the house than you the ‘poser’. Why not lay all your cards on the table. So, that she can come to appreciate you for who you are. You can strive to be a better man and put a wide smile on your woman’s face. Do you think they are other reasons why a woman can lose interest in her man?

A relationship with your mother

‘I hate my mom’ does the statement sound familiar? Not really, right? She carried you in her womb for nine months and bore all the inconveniences. You suckled her and she allowed you with joy and gladness. We all have emotional attachments to our mom, most times it is stronger than the bond we share with our dad. We are closer to our mom and maybe due to the breast milk we tend to go closer to our mom even physically. So, I was horrified when I heard on the radio sometime ago that a grown up man in his early thirties has been having sexual intercourse with his mom from his teenage days to adulthood. What type of mom would destroy the life of her child just like that? Huh? We live in a world with lots of strange happenings. This man lost his dad when he was quite young and his mom selfishly used him to satisfy her sexual desires till he became an adult. Then his mom introduced him to her boyfriend and rather than welcome the boyfriend, he stabbed him because he felt that he has always been there for his mom and he also loves her. (I am not encouraging every man to express his love for his mom in this twisted and sick way).

Mother and Child

Love for a mother made Jesus to perform his first miracle earlier than his appointed time. Maybe I should not even be writing this, because we all love our mom and we have a special relationship with her. Wait a minute! Do we all love our mom or am I just dreaming up this fantasy?
Some mothers can do anything to preserve the life and wellbeing of their child, I guess that’s the type of mother, children love and emulate when they are fully grown. While some mothers, can fold their arms and watch their children suffer. Can you believe that a mother can stand by and watch her husband molest her child. Yes, it has happened and it still happens. How can such a woman bear to call herself mother and still celebrate mother’s day when all she did was give birth to the child without a care in the world on how to protect the child from evil.
Our mother is our confidant, our friend, our bundle of joy, our pride because she has always been there for us that is in the case of a good mom.
Let’s keep cultivating that relationship with her, she took care of us while we were ill and no matter what we did she always found a space in her heart to forgive us. Many cards, words, poems and songs have been written and dedicated to good mothers all over the world. We should always find time to appreciate our mom knowing that she has our best interest at heart and here I will emphasize in the case of good mothers.
Bad mothers on the other hand must be corrected and educated on how to care for their children. Every child needs his/her mother.

Do you have a good relationship with your mother?