Tag Archives: Mother

THE DIARY OF A HUSTLING MOTHER: EPISODE 2: The Birth

Most of it was a blur to me.
“Zara, can you hear me?”
My eyelid fluttered. I did not want to be disturbed from my peaceful sleep. And for once, I did not feel the urge or pressure to sleep sideways. I enjoy sleeping face up before the pregnancy. But the sounds continued and it made me uneasy in my dreams. For in my dream I was floating in a flowing river. It felt really good. For once I appreciated the water beneath my skin, the green grass by the side of the river and the sounds of the birds chirping away.
“Zara, Zara, I will not lose you. Wake up, can you hear me? I love you too much to lose…” I was shooked  with a violent force.
The force woke up to a sea of faces, mostly unknown faces. They wore sky blue uniforms and some of them wore a white coat over it. They were men and women. Then my face lit up as I recognized just one out of the multitude. He held my hand and I could see tears freely running down his face.
“I thought for a moment that I had lost you”  Daniel  said.
“Ha, come off it. I am alive and I can see that I am still pregnant. How long was I gone for? ” I said to Daniel with a bright smile.
“For a little over an hour, then you blacked out again” he said
“How did you find me?” I asked
“I had a strong feeling that you had contractions this morning but you were too stubborn to admit it. So I decided to work for short hours and bring a midwife home. That’s how I found you on the floor.”

“Mrs. Wilson, I can see that you have regained consciousness. I am Doctor Keith, I will take this miraculous journey of childbirth with you. But first you must know that your water has broken, so we need to induce labour. We have checked and you are only 1cm gone”
Turning to face the hospital staff, Dr Keith said “wheel her to the labour room.”
I couldn’t believe it that I was actually doing this, having my baby. I wondered what the sex would be.
“Give us female children, your husband has no sister and same also with his father’s generation. The last generation that had female children were 4 generations ago. I want your husband to have a daughter and sister. At least let this family receive bride price, have people to come beg for our daughter’s hand in marriage. ” My mother in law said.
I was expressionless that day but I wondered why she took the pain to ask me for a female child, when the whole world knows that it is the man that determines the sex of the child.
“Mrs Wilson, I will insert this ball into your private in order to help you dilute faster.” Dr Keith said jolting me from my thoughts.
I screamed, the pain was raw and blinding.
“There you are, I am through” he said
“Can you stand up? Try to walk normal. He pulled the wheel chair and Daniel assisted in putting me back without any incident.

I shared the room with one other pregnant woman. She claimed to be in labour but I doubted her. She was singing and dancing. She made about 50 phone calls to tell family and friends that she was in labour. She took selfies each time she was done with a call.
Yes! I knew because I counted it all, for there was no way to kill the pain of the ball than to count.
Each time a hospital staff entered the room, the woman would scream “my waist o! My back o! Rub it rub it! Yes! Yesssss! I am sure the baby head is coming out. Take me to the labour room. Take me!”

I had gotten tired of her pretence, so I distracted myself with a book.
At the 3rd hour, a Nurse came to me, she noticed the ball had dropped and wheeled me off again to the labour room.
I was given a drip, I learnt it was called the hot drip. It made me to wish I was dead. It almost took my sanity then I heard
“Push…push”
I panted after the first try. “I want to poo and vomit” I said

“Do it here” said the midwife.

She thought I was being un serious. She dock her head close to my private and said “push”
At that moment I vomited on the floor and pooed on her face at the same time. I was embarrassed but I felt better.

The midwife was furious but she could not do anything about it. I could see a large frown had spread across her face…

 

 

Fiction Wednesday: THE DIARY OF A HUSTLING MOTHER EPISODE 1 : I CAN DO IT BY MYSELF

It all started with my desire to be independent when I was a teenager, that was 15 years ago. And 15years later, I am wondering why I made that decision. Although I know in my inner most being that it’s because I saw my Mom depend on my Dad for everything and it did not work out fine for her. Now I am an extremist in independency and that has not worked out fine for me either. Continue reading Fiction Wednesday: THE DIARY OF A HUSTLING MOTHER EPISODE 1 : I CAN DO IT BY MYSELF

Relationship with our children

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From the first kick to the date of birth, we mothers have already developed a relationship with our babies, infact our relationship dates far back than the first kick.  Then at birth a different type of relationship is cultivated, one where the mothers give and give more of their time, a part of their body and tireless dedication to their babies. There are mothers and there are real mothers, for it is not  that difficult to become a mother but it is most difficult to be a good mother, a selfless mother who puts the need of her children before hers. I have a little confession to make here, before I became a mother, I did not really and fully grasp  the sacrifice, the hard work  and the enormous dedication in child bringing, that hurdle that a good mother must pass every time she  has a baby and as such I could not comprehensively  appreciate the role of mothers in the world at large. But now I sing a different tune, I see a different story, mothers could be domineering, annoying at times but its all for a reason, they are wired that way by  God. They are made to protect their children and in their eyes their children are always babies no matter how big or how well established that child is.

Despite the perseverance and the sacrifice made at the inception of life for a baby what matters at the end is the relationship that has been nurtured with the child. If a mother pushes her child away by her actions, utterances or the fact that she is unapproachable, no matter how many times she may scream and shout “I am your mother” “I carried you in my womb for 9 months” “I spent sleepless nights for you” It only fades away in the child’s memory or it all means nothing to the child because the relationship was never there in the first place, hence the constant fight.

It might be very difficult, children are bound to annoy their mothers and fathers or even hurt their Parents one way or the other but mothers should never shut the door to the relationship which was developed naturally at the inception of the child. Men do not get me wrong, you too can always develop a relationship with your baby at inception, I remember that my Husband towed that path by always talking to our daughter while she was in the womb.

Sometimes as I recall, he would say “shhhh” I am talking to my child. Many men can adopt this approach and also spend sleepless nights alongside their wives in other to cultivate a long, lasting and healthy relationship with their children despite the fact that they are not really wired for “vigil with babies”  as I so fondly call it.

Cheers!

 

A relationship with your mother

‘I hate my mom’ does the statement sound familiar? Not really, right? She carried you in her womb for nine months and bore all the inconveniences. You suckled her and she allowed you with joy and gladness. We all have emotional attachments to our mom, most times it is stronger than the bond we share with our dad. We are closer to our mom and maybe due to the breast milk we tend to go closer to our mom even physically. So, I was horrified when I heard on the radio sometime ago that a grown up man in his early thirties has been having sexual intercourse with his mom from his teenage days to adulthood. What type of mom would destroy the life of her child just like that? Huh? We live in a world with lots of strange happenings. This man lost his dad when he was quite young and his mom selfishly used him to satisfy her sexual desires till he became an adult. Then his mom introduced him to her boyfriend and rather than welcome the boyfriend, he stabbed him because he felt that he has always been there for his mom and he also loves her. (I am not encouraging every man to express his love for his mom in this twisted and sick way).

Mother and Child

Love for a mother made Jesus to perform his first miracle earlier than his appointed time. Maybe I should not even be writing this, because we all love our mom and we have a special relationship with her. Wait a minute! Do we all love our mom or am I just dreaming up this fantasy?
Some mothers can do anything to preserve the life and wellbeing of their child, I guess that’s the type of mother, children love and emulate when they are fully grown. While some mothers, can fold their arms and watch their children suffer. Can you believe that a mother can stand by and watch her husband molest her child. Yes, it has happened and it still happens. How can such a woman bear to call herself mother and still celebrate mother’s day when all she did was give birth to the child without a care in the world on how to protect the child from evil.
Our mother is our confidant, our friend, our bundle of joy, our pride because she has always been there for us that is in the case of a good mom.
Let’s keep cultivating that relationship with her, she took care of us while we were ill and no matter what we did she always found a space in her heart to forgive us. Many cards, words, poems and songs have been written and dedicated to good mothers all over the world. We should always find time to appreciate our mom knowing that she has our best interest at heart and here I will emphasize in the case of good mothers.
Bad mothers on the other hand must be corrected and educated on how to care for their children. Every child needs his/her mother.

Do you have a good relationship with your mother?