Tag Archives: people

My Relationship with August!!!! *wink* *wink*

I have always known deep down that there was something special about the month of August, it is the month of Leaders, even the great President of the United States of America, Barack Obama was born in the month of August and so it is that the month of August will come to an end today; however, one can never forget how special this month is. This is my month of birth and I can’t help but remember all the good things that happened to me this month. I am most grateful to God for keeping me alive despite the unrest in some parts of the country. Anyways, the weather was a blast this month as it was hardly ever hot, even the Power Holding Company of Nigeria managed to hold their part of the bargain by giving most parts of Lagos steady power supply. One striking thing about this month was the opportunity to eat lots of cake.  You see I have never really liked parties and most people find it difficult to categorize me due to the type of celebration I would rather have. I prefer to have a few friends over to dinner or one special person as against a bunch of crowd to celebrate with. However, I cherish my birthday and I cherish the genuine wishes from my friends on my birthday as they always make me feel special and well-loved.

I know we cannot always have a wonderful birthday celebration and I recall one particular year when I had an awful birthday because I hoped one person could make my birthday special and he never did. I was quite young then and strong-willed so all the pleas from my friends to take me out on my birthday fell on deaf ears because I was secretly hoping that my boyfriend would take me and my friends out as he earlier promised. This never happened and I was able to keep a brave appearance until night-time when I took the bulls by the horn by calling him to find out what happened. I discovered that he forgot and it made me sad for the rest of the night.

Imagine been miserable on the day of your birth because of someone who never knew how God created you, who did not know you before you were born, who does not know what your future will be. Most people have gotten broken relationships because of issues like this.  However when you forget a dearest friend special day or moment it translates into callousness, insensitivity and even the fact that you do not care for that person. Now, most guys always forget their “sweetheart’s birthdays or wedding anniversaries or one special day or the other in their lives, they blame the anger of the lady to the fact “that ladies don’t take kindly to these things”. I am fortunate to experience this omission by men and I would like to clearly state here that women believe that a man who loves them must cherish those days which are important to them. In fact, most women see gestures of birthday wishes and gifts as expression of love from the man and trust me she will do a hundred fold for your birthday as soon as she passes that hurdle of insecurity. As soon as she realizes that you remembered that special day the sky would be your starting point in winning her heart over and over.

My Birthday was rather cool, I was so excited and the surprises were endless. I felt loved and cared for and I realized how much I cherish each and every one of my friends who wished me a wonderful year ahead. It was an opportunity for me to indulge in cakes as I ate one of the most delicious cakes from cakes and cream. Hmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!! The sheer thought of it makes me crave with pleasure as it was sinfully delicious.  And my gifts were awesome, I felt like a 5 years old girl as I unwrapped the gifts. Thank you all for making my day wonderful. And I am glad I had a good birthday celebration despite my very busy day at work because I was determined to have one.

I just hope that people especially ladies out there would view birthday celebrations and other special days as days they ought to be happy and not carry grudges against their man who may most likely forget. Thus, never tie your happiness to a particular thing or person, strive to always have a great time despite whatever the expectations you have of others, it does not change you from being you and it does not make you from being less loved. When people let you down, pick yourself up, shake off the dust and move on for people will always be people that’s  are why they let you down.

Sweet August is ending today and so is the August break in Nigeria. The dreadful rains will come down, but my relationship with August is very deep and will never come to an end. For August have I loved and in August did I learn a lot of things.

Cheers!

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Antidote to having a long lasting relationship with your spouse

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Long ago we heard about couples celebrating thirty years union, golden jubilee, silver jubilee and the likes. It seems to be very many years ago as the rate of marriage is high and the rate of divorce is even higher. I have even heard the story of a couple that got married and separated on that same day of the marriage. The issue of separation or divorce has become the general rule rather than the exception; it is messy and bloody as couples wash their dirty linens in the eyes of the public. Ha! Celebrities always have the worse type of divorce especially when the press has a keen interest on the celebrity.

Now, I have constantly asked myself what is the cause of divorce in this present generation and a lot of answers flooded in from my observations of how people develop and run their relationships. The catchiest answer I could find to the problem of high divorce rates lies in what couples are not doing to preserve their marriage. The biblical command on marriages is ‘’wives be submissive to your husband and husband love your wives as Christ loved the church.’’ Hence, I would start from love, love is that feeling that makes you think of a particular person all the time, it brings out the passion in you, it makes you make sacrifice for your spouse, it is patient and kind and understanding and forgiving. It brings you closer to your spouse and brings depth to your relationship with your spouse.  In sum, love as stated by Robert Sternberg is blended into three components which are passion or physical attraction, intimacy or feelings of closeness and commitment which means the decision to initiate and sustain a relationship. Why would couples go through the bother of exchanging marriage vows if they have no intention to keep it, ‘I love you’ means I love you enough to forgive you even when you upset me; I love you enough to be committed to you even when things are not going on well between us, because I know our love for each other would give us the strength to overcome it; I love you enough to be kind to you rather than turning you into my punching bag; I love you enough to understand that I cannot always have my way in the relationship; I love you enough to look out for own interest by including you in all my plans.

In my opinion, if ‘love’ exists in a relationship between spouses, the tendency to divorce the one you love would be nonexistent. However, most couples do not know the meaning of love even though they say it often to each other, hence the rate of high divorce.

Cheers!