Tag Archives: romance

Fairy Tale Romance v. Real Tale Romance

Love is in the air, I can smell it and I can almost feel it but am not there yet, ha maybe it’s the weather and if you like call me an incurable romantic, but I have always fantasized on a lot of things. Love has not been left out in my fantasies as my imagination can be very wide and I am certain I am not alone in my imaginations as we all have dreams on the type of person we would want to date or get married to. It has always been referred to as “our dream man or dream woman or prince charming, or the knight in shining armor or the princess or the perfect woman.

I shall focus on men in this segment while the second segment shall focus on women. Now, before I start writing on and on about men, it would interest you to know a little bit about me. I am the type of lady who dreams and fantasizes for hours, perhaps it’s a gift as writing comes naturally to me and I heard that great writers have great imaginations, If this is really true then I am on my way to greatness. I have never really had a dull moment with myself as I fill it up with good imaginations of good food, good clothes, the love of God, the injustice in the world (especially Nigeria), poverty in Nigeria and of course love is also not left out in my imaginations, etc. Ok, let’s leave these topics for days to come.

Now, every man has a dream woman or princess or desired woman that they would like to end up with, some men think these women are way above their class due to their educational background, their beauty, their manners etc. Most men I have had the opportunity of having a decent conversation with have expressed their desires on the type of women they want as a girlfriend or as a spouse.  They have given me descriptions in full details ranging from her physical appearance -to most short men – a tall woman is the perfect match for them and to some very dark-skinned men- a fair complexion woman would do the magic –  Some men love their women to have the African stature fats in the right places such as the back sides and the hips as well as the front sides, while other prefer their women to be skinny or slim with some sort of shape – popularly known as the “figure 8” shape. Some men prefer their women to be heavily endowed with massive mounds of flesh in all parts of the body. Now whatever, the taste is, all men have a physical picture of their dream woman in their heads.  Men also have a picture of the character of the woman who they intend to date or wed, most men prefer peaceful women who can be motherly and homely, some men do not really mind as long as the woman is good to them, they don’t mind if she is nasty and cruel to others, some men only prefer their women to be beautiful and they don’t mind if she is not homely.

Now whatever the taste a man has, can this taste be said to only exist in fairy tale romance? Fairy tale romance as we all know are not real as they exist just in our imaginations unusual happiness which does not seem to have an end. Human beings cannot be happy all the time, there are times in our lives when we are filled with sadness, though not for long. There are also times when we have hitches in our relationships, when that special person does not seem special to us any more, when the dream woman becomes a reality and does not look all that nice as we imagined her to be. And so it is for the Nigerian man whom I spotted with an old maybe American or European lady.
To be continued...

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Is an engagement ring an absolute necessity to a marriage proposal?

I once had this chat with a male friend on marriage proposals and his statement to me was shocking because I never thought of it in that light, at least not for Nigerians born in Nigeria and living in Nigeria who have not travelled outside the shores of the country and have attached too much importance on traditional values. His statement was simple as he said ‘any man who does not propose to a lady with a ring in this day and age is not serious about marrying that lady’. Now, I took it within the Nigerian context, because as we all know, the idea of engagement ring sounds western.

However, the origin and history of engagement ring poked my curiosity and for days I couldn’t stop thinking about the nagging question that tucked my every being. ‘’Is an engagement ring a necessary tool for marriage proposals for Nigerians living in Nigeria in the 21st century’’  I know most people might have differing answers with basic reasons. But first, it is wise to take a peek at the origin and history of engagement rings.  Although an engagement ring has been generally described as a ring connoting that the wearer is engaged to be married particularly in western cultures, it must be emphasized here that the history of engagement ring began in Ancient Egypt and was used to symbolize a never-ending circle. It gradually moved to the West as the Romans saw it as a symbol for ownership instead of love. Subsequently in Europe engagement rings were given as a pledge of love and fidelity and especially for the Romans it was used as a gift for betrothal and did not necessarily imply marriage.

Presently, in the 21st century in Nigeria a lot of factors come to play when a man intends to propose marriage to a woman and I believe that these factors to a large extent affects the nature of proposal a woman would get. Factors ranging from the ethnic group of the woman in question; the character of the woman; the family background of the woman; the finances of the man; his status in the society; his religion, his responsibility within his immediate and his extended family to mention a few.  For instance, when a  man is not financially stable and just wants to marry because he thinks all his mates are married or because he has a set target on when to marry he may not necessarily be patient enough to propose with a ring. Guys, am I right?

I know most ladies grew up with the notion of romance which was reinforced by Mills and Booms novels and American romantic movies as well. Realizing that the prince charming of the movies/novels do not necessarily exist in real life they try to create one out of the man they are with at that point in time. Sometimes, they perceive the proposal of marriage with an engagement ring as ‘classy’ and they go about making a fuss about it and recounting his proposal. However, not all ladies have the opportunity to feel or recount such fairy tale like stories and this could be as a result of numerous reasons such as religion, lack of initiative on behalf of the man because he was never exposed to romantic movies or he simply does not believe in it.  In such circumstances, the women in question should not feel bad because the essence of engagement ring is not more important than the relationship you share with that man you call your own. Engagement rings can be like a breath of fresh air in terms of marriage proposals which comes in different forms in Nigeria and which most unscrupulous men use in deceiving poor unsuspecting ladies out there, but it is not a must have because the man can always give it to the lady after the marriage proposal and in certain circumstances both can shop for it. I believe the most important thing in a marriage proposal is the intention and the ability to keep that fire of love burning for a life time. However, guys always try to buy an engagement ring while proposing; it does put a smile on her face, gives her that feeling of being special and makes her radiate with joy. Do you think an engagement ring is a necessity for a marriage proposal?

Cheers!